As we usher in 2023, it gives us the perfect opportunity to set goals that we can aspire to in the coming year. While New Year’s resolutions are often about lofty external goals that can result in visible wins, I want to take a step back and focus on reframing certain internal notions that may be holding us back from growth and success. As creatures of habit, we often don’t recognize long standing patterns of thought and behavior we practice subconsciously that can determine the outcome of many events in our lives. Below are a few patterns of ideas that you can reframe in 2023. Remember that even the smallest shifts in your mentality can have ripple effects that impact all aspects of your life.
- No one gets me. If you repeatedly keep finding yourself feeling misunderstood by people around you, it may be because of a lack of communication. Oftentimes we expect that our needs are obvious to other people, when in fact, it is unrealistic to expect that they can read our minds. Articulating needs and boundaries in relationships, be it with friends and family, a romantic partner or even at work, will enable others to better understand you and give them the tools to connect and engage with you in a more meaningful way. But for that to happen, you will need to first examine and explore what your own needs are and how best to communicate them to those around you.
- Why later? Do you find yourself with goals in mind and feel restless about accomplishing them? And yet you keep putting them off or waiting for the perfect time or opportunity to start working on them? We all like to feel like we are in control of our surroundings, and by extension, the events in our lives, and we search for some indication from the universe before we dive in. But we often learn, sometimes too late, that circumstances will not always align the way we want it to. So stop postponing that solo trip, have that difficult conversation, or make that career change you’ve been contemplating for a while. Taking a chance on something that may make you happy and fulfilled is always better than regretting missed opportunities down the road. Sometimes you must create your own opportunities instead of waiting for them to come knocking on your door.
- You can’t do it all. Even the best of us have finite limits to our physical, mental and emotional bandwidth and can’t add more than 24 hours to a day. As you pick up more responsibilities in life, learn to accept the fact that the only way you can continue to perform at your best without burnout is if some things come off your plate. Reframe the notion that asking for help and support makes you appear weak or incapable, but rather view it as something that you need to do to operate at your optimal capacity. Accepting the fact that you can’t do it all and creating internal boundaries to protect your own energy can help you feel more fulfilled and optimistic in the long run.
- It’s okay to walk away. Some things just won’t work out, no matter how hard you try. By all means, give it your best shot. Leave no stone unturned. But at some point, acknowledge that trying harder no longer becomes productive, but instead it becomes a drain on your energy and goodwill and fuels disappointment. Accept the fact that some things were just not meant to be, that not every situation has a happy ending. It is normal to experience a sense of loss and grief over whatever it was that you were trying so hard to accomplish. But then, give yourself permission to move forward with the conviction that you tried your best, and look forward with optimism about the new opportunities that you now have room for in your life.
- You are enough. Your worth is not defined by what others think of you. What people think of you is more of a reflection of their own beliefs and assumptions and not of your true potential. Don’t make the mistake of stepping into the new year thinking you have to mold yourself into a version that people expect in order to be loved and accepted by those around you. Reflect on and explore your own values and beliefs, honor your own journey of growth and self-discovery and be your most authentic self. The right people will always accept and love you for being you.
I wish all of you a great start to 2023 and all the adventures it brings.