As humans, we can’t help but compare ourselves to one another. In the digital age, social media has amplified this tendency. Every time we log in to platforms like Instagram and Facebook, we are bombarded with highlight reels from friends, family, and often, strangers.
While these curated glimpses into others’ lives can be inspiring and motivate us to improve our circumstances, they can also have the opposite effect. They can trigger feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration. This article will explore social comparison theory and provide helpful strategies for overcoming unhealthy online comparisons.
What is social comparison theory?
Social comparison theory was introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. It says that social comparison is natural and helps us know where we stand among others and within society. Most times, social comparison happens automatically, so we can’t avoid it. But we can get better at noticing when we’re doing it and how we respond.
According to social comparison theory, we compare ourselves to others in two ways: upward and downward comparison.
Upward comparison.
This is when we compare ourselves to those we perceive as more successful, talented, or generally “better off” than us. On the plus-side, it can motivate us to grow in areas we value. But when the gap feels too wide or there’s not much we have control over, it can leave us feeling bad about ourselves, like we’ll never measure up.
Downward comparison.
This happens when we compare ourselves to people we perceive as less accomplished or fortunate than us. This kind of comparison usually gives us a temporary confidence boost, but it can also create a feeling of superiority if we do it frequently.
Both types of comparison have their pros and cons, and the key is balance. Instead of allowing comparison to define our worth, we can use it as a tool for growth while staying grounded in our own journey.
Strategies for overcoming unhealthy comparison.
While we can’t avoid social comparison completely, here are some ways to manage it and shift your focus towards healthier habits.
Limit social media usage.
The more time you spend online, the more likely you are to compare yourself to others. To protect your mental health, avoid mindless scrolling by setting clear boundaries for your social media use. By limiting time spent online, you’ll create more space to focus on what truly matters to you.
Practice gratitude daily
Shifting your focus from what’s missing to what you already have can create a powerful change in perspective. Take a few moments each day to write down 3 things you’re grateful for—whether it’s your health, relationships, or personal achievements.
Manage negative thoughts
Try to become more aware of negative thoughts when you compare yourself to others online. Pause and question them: “Is this helping me grow, or is it feeding insecurity?” Remind yourself of your unique strengths, progress, and the journey you’re on.
Define success for yourself.
Rather than measuring success by others’ standards, create your own. Reflect on your values, then set goals that align with them. This will help you feel more connected to your own progress and less distracted by what others are doing.
Build meaningful, offline relationships.
Focus on building real-life connections that are positive and supportive. Interacting with people face-to-face helps you stay present and grounded, promoting a healthier mindset and sense of well-being.
